You talk about your questions a lot, after reading, I am still not sure what the questions are. Although you have some answers, the reader is not going to know what the answers are actually answering. Try to include you questions so the reader can clearly understand what the report is about.
I thought some of the sentences in the beginning might have been a little repetitive as in mentioning the same thing more than once in the same sentences. you could check that because I might have just down that in my head.
What is your research? Is it only first hand experiences. It seems like your lacking information. Did you go outside of the classroom and interview others? If so make that more clear.
I thought the ending was very good but could line up better with the bottom half of your paper it seemed to which around alot for teachers and parents but it never really went into great depth with one at a time.
if you guys could add some stats about how much parents impact kids. like whether having two parents make you more likely to excel in literacy or the lack of of good teachers can cause that.
If you are looking for more data maybe you guys could find people similar to you and how you grew up and compare your important impacts throughout your literacy journey.
I was also confused with the questions that were mentioned a lot. You have the answers, but as a reader, I don’t know what the question is that your answering.
I liked how you put different points of view, talking about your different literacy sponsors. Transition from other paragraphs can flow a little nicer by adding images or explaining other details from your research.
Manisha’s Portfolio
Create headings. Everything seems like an intro, until the last paragraph.
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It feels like it is written by the different people, create a flow. Make sure your transitions are smooth.
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You talk about your questions a lot, after reading, I am still not sure what the questions are. Although you have some answers, the reader is not going to know what the answers are actually answering. Try to include you questions so the reader can clearly understand what the report is about.
LikeLike
I thought some of the sentences in the beginning might have been a little repetitive as in mentioning the same thing more than once in the same sentences. you could check that because I might have just down that in my head.
LikeLike
What is your research? Is it only first hand experiences. It seems like your lacking information. Did you go outside of the classroom and interview others? If so make that more clear.
LikeLike
I thought the ending was very good but could line up better with the bottom half of your paper it seemed to which around alot for teachers and parents but it never really went into great depth with one at a time.
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You seem to have only data from personal experiences. Branch out, interview people, see if the library has any information about your report.
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if you guys could add some stats about how much parents impact kids. like whether having two parents make you more likely to excel in literacy or the lack of of good teachers can cause that.
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If you are looking for more data maybe you guys could find people similar to you and how you grew up and compare your important impacts throughout your literacy journey.
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Maybe in your introduction you can clearly state your research question.
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I was also confused with the questions that were mentioned a lot. You have the answers, but as a reader, I don’t know what the question is that your answering.
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Adding images or charts will make the report easier to follow while reading.
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I liked how you put different points of view, talking about your different literacy sponsors. Transition from other paragraphs can flow a little nicer by adding images or explaining other details from your research.
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